#truelove #allowing #dating
This year’s conference focused on “Wisdom in the Digital Age.” The first day, we heard from leaders at Facebook, Google, and LinkedIn. They described the challenges their organizations are facing: information overload, priority proliferation, and meeting fatigue.
The reality they described feels like a sharp contrast to the high aspirations espoused during the rest of the conference. Eckhart Tolle encouraged us to live in the now. Arianna Huffington spoke passionately about the Third Metric — imploring us to look at success beyond money and power and start redefining success to include well-being, wisdom, wonder, compassion, and giving. Dan Siegel and Alanis Morissette demonstrated a more conscious conversation where people actually connect and integrate rather than the usual “monologue-to-monologue.”
So how do we unite these idealistic visions with the workplace reality so many of us are facing?
That was the question we explored in our breakout session on “Reinventing the Modern Meeting.” We offered three shifts that would reshape the experience and outcomes of work life.
Make more conscious choices about how you spend your time. Taking a more mindful approach to your calendar and deciding which meetings are a good use of your time and which ones simply aren’t. You can say “no” to a meeting!
Be conscious of your intention in every meeting. Why are you there? What do you want to make happen? If you don’t know, your brain will skip out on it. There in body but not in mind doesn’t count!
And finally, consciously manage your level of engagement in every meeting. How much of your energy, commitment, and focus are you giving? Multi-tasking has been proven to be neither effective nor efficient. By contrast, our full attention allows us to see patterns and connect dots. In essence, to integrate ideas and thereby produce collective wisdom.
Imagine this: You have fewer meetings because you’ve chosen wisely. To those meetings that you do attend, you bring a strong intention and full engagement. As a result, connected, conscious dialogue flourishes. Others feel seen, met, and heard. High-quality work gets done. You feel energized.
Let’s call that a Third Metric meeting. And let’s have more of them. By doing so, we can unite our aspiration with our day-to-day reality, making our work life — even our meetings — a platform and a practice for a more mindful, compassionate society.
Intellectual well-being does not rely only on education. Self-esteem is an important part of this particular core asset. What is self-esteem? Simply put, it is how you perceive yourself when you look in the mirror. Do you feel good about the person you see there? Do you feel angry or ashamed? How you feel about yourself directly or indirectly affects your mood, attitudes, thoughts, decision making, and relationships, and your overall ROI on intellectual and mental health.
Good self-esteem doesn’t mean having a big ego. In reality, it is quite the opposite. People with healthy self-esteem have an innate sense of security, which actually allows them to see and accept their own imperfections. However, people with low self-esteem tend to have distorted views of themselves. Whether someone comes off as an overstuffed peacock or a shrinking violet, a distorted self-perception because of low self-esteem usually has little to do with what others actually think of that person. Whether positive or negative, the attitudes associated with self-esteem usually are the products of a lifetime, and they imprint on the fabric of the mind.
With the mind’s ability to weave such unpleasant webs, how does anyone begin to get over the distorted realities generated by low self-esteem? If you have been suffering in any of these ways, the first thing to do is recognize the problem. It may be easier said than done; that is true of many things in life. But starting somewhere is the key. You have the ability to shift your perceptions. Don’t avoid it — own up to it and get to work.
It could take some time, especially if the blame game has been at work. But eventually you may be able to begin asking, “Why do I really feel this way?” Unraveling the sources of insecurity through self-examination is a move in the direction of healing. Employing one or more of the techniques for stress relief may be helpful. Your chance for insight may emerge when you slow down the spinning wheels in your mind.
Once you begin to ask questions, you can move to the next phase: getting to know yourself. Explore who you are inside — your likes, your dislikes, and the values that drive your actions in the world. Most of all, get to know your foibles and even what you may see as your shortcomings. Get comfortable in your own skin. You don’t have to be the person you think your mother wanted you to be or the person you want the public to believe you are. Recognize your own uniqueness, and you will discover unlimited potential.
As you wind your way through greater self-awareness, you will get to the place of realizing that no one is perfect. The perfectionist is the only one in need of constant approval. The ways in which you diverge from the norm in some way are the very traits people tend to appreciate and admire in others. If you deal with your perceived imperfections in a healthy way, that experience builds character and makes you stronger mentally.
When low self-esteem has you trying to hide your imperfections and shortcomings, life becomes stressful. The energy expended to keep secrets and hold back thoughts and feelings makes daily living exhausting. It is no wonder that when people share their imperfections, they feel like a big weight has been lifted from their shoulders.
Ultimately only you can help yourself reap the highest possible ROI on self-esteem. Many methods are out there to transition negative feelings to positive ones. Here is one I recommend: Take a leap of faith and share an honest moment with someone. Try telling someone about a trait of yours that you think is an imperfection. Sharing is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows humbleness, earns respect, and makes friends. It is an act of high self-esteem and self-confidence. This simple moment of humility will help you get stronger in the all-important ability to respect and love yourself no matter the circumstance.
Sanjay Jain is a US-trained Board Certified physician, with over 15 years of clinical experience. He is the author of the new book, OPTIMAL LIVING 360: Smart Decision Making for a Balanced Life (Greenleaf, February 2014). Sanjay represents a new wave of thought leadership and expertise developed not only from his medical and financial education, but also his life experiences. Follow Sanjay on Twitter at @sanjayjainmd and visit his website at SanjayJainMD.com.
Making (and keeping) a resolution takes resolve, and I believe that is just the thing that might be lacking in the dead of winter.
Winter is cold, at least on the part of the globe where I live. And so many resolutions involve things like exercising, getting out more, eating more salads and drinking more smoothies, working harder, etc., and many of those things just don’t seem to fit naturally on my Winter calendar. Environment trumps intention, and a chilly environment just isn’t completely supportive of some resolutions.
All I want when I am freezing is to snuggle up on the couch with the Handsome Sweetheart and Yuki the Wonderpuppy and eat popcorn. Of course it is organic popcorn covered in himalayan pink salt and grass-fed butter from Ireland — so that counts towards eating healthier, right?
I don’t want to “get out more.” I don’t want to exercise more. For me, “exercising more” means riding my bike, and riding my bike in freezing cold wet weather is NOT something that I want to do. Ever.
I don’t want to eat salad. I don’t want a smoothie.
I want to hibernate. I want to stay inside, stay warm, eat comfort food, snuggle up and read. I want to knit.
And then, I want spring to arrive.
Spring. Ah, just thinking of those beautiful spring mornings brings a smile to my face. Because when the robins start appearing, the sun comes back out, the trees start budding, and the temperature warms up THAT is when I feel ready. Ready to make those moves. Ready to have some resolve. Ready to begin creating new things and new directions in my life.
Doesn’t it just seem like nature intends it this way? Winter is for hibernating.
For centuries the “new year” was celebrated at the spring equinox. And the spring season just seems to scream “Bring in the NEW!” So much new life, new growth is evident all around us. New plans, new goals, new creations, new directions — all seem more natural at this time.
Keeping certain resolutions during the thick of winter is like finalizing a contract or setting up a computer network during Mercury Retrograde. You can do it, but it might not be hassle free. The traditional advice regarding Mercury Retrograde is that it is NOT the time to sign contracts or buy expensive electronics. But what we sometimes don’t hear is that it IS a great time to revisit, reread, rewrite, rethink, research, and relax. It is a great time to plan, and then when Mercury goes direct, that is the time to act on those plans.
This is how I feel about the “New Year” (the current one, the popular one, the one on January 1) — I like to take that time to think, to plan, to brainstorm, and then when spring comes I’m ready to begin taking action to bring those plans into reality.
How do you feel about this idea? Is spring a better time for those resolutions for you, too?
Get ready! Spring is on the way!
Cindie Chavez is throwing a virtual party this Spring to help you create those new things you want in your life, and it’s free! Find out more about The 2014 Love & Magic Spring Invitational
Feeling your emotions can be as rough as it is elating. However, the point is that we feel them physically. Many people feel something and then bury it deep down until they think it’s gone. What you feel does not leave your body or your heart unless you confront it. Emotions are meant to be endured, not ignored. I want to help you confront your emotions, not run around them. Confronting your emotions will allow you to experience happiness, even if something sad or upsetting happens in your day.
Healing is an important process in first dealing with your emotions. Healing doesn’t mean anything is “broken,” it just means that there will be nurturing needed where we have neglected to do it. We are sensitive beings; we go through life so quickly that we often don’t stop to ponder what we’re feeling. And that’s one habit that needs to be broken.
When you feel your feelings, you should sit with yourself and really feel them. When something bad happens, do you feel that terrible pain in your chest? What about when you are stressed? Do you feel yourself get cold and prickly? As if someone was poking your heart with pins and needles? What about when you feel sad? You can really feel it in your heart, can’t you? All that energy doesn’t just magically go away. You must coax your feelings out, allow yourself to feel safe enough with yourself and release that energy.
How is this a problem?
● Your emotions translate into a physical energy that influences your body.
● If you bottle up your emotions, they sit in your body and every action and reaction you have is affected.
● You will not feel content unless you release them.
What can you do about it?
● Meditation is a great way to stop and think about what you are feeling. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed and sit with your eyes closed. It may be uncomfortable at first, if you are not used to being alone, but it will be worth it. Endure your feelings. Do not let anything distract you.
● When something happens that you know will elicit an emotional response from you- stop and question it. Why do I feel this?
● Identify your feelings. Sometimes people mistake happiness for other emotions. Identify what you are feeling and why you are feeling these emotions.
● Confront your feelings and be honest with yourself. Honesty is key in peeling back your layers of built up emotions.
● Once you confront it, release it. Feel it as hard as you can, and when you can feel it no longer, let it go. Acknowledge you were feeling a certain way and then settle down for some more peace and quiet time.
Why is releasing yourself from this energy good for you?
● Your body pays the price if you don’t. All that energy, all those knots in your chest make an impact.
● Your heart gets congested. If you don’t clear out your bottled up feelings, you won’t be able to embrace the cleanliness that your body deserves.
● Although being honest with yourself may hurt at the time, it will hurt less if you confront your true feelings. Trust me, you will find peace.
Your emotions can often manifest themselves physically, so it is important to be aware of how you are feeling and how your body is responding. What’s happening on the inside can be just as painful as a broken bone. Unfortunately healing your emotions is a little more tricky. Start by taking things slow and easy. Take deep breaths and take a few minutes each day to allow yourself to rest and be in peace. Pause and think about what you’re feeling and why you are feeling that way. We can all make time for healing — it’s something everyone deserves. Remember to always love yourself inside and out. Your body and your mind. Everyone deserves to be genuinely happy and healthy.
This simple practice of self-love and healing your emotions truly freed me from almost a decade of chronic illness and pain and I am forever grateful. I hope you too can release your emotions and truly feel how amazing and light it can be to just let go.
Allowing true love. Books and Subliminal Audios 