#truelove #allowing #dating
The man who said this to me never has to work again. He built a company from nothing into one that employed 1,000 people all over the world, and then one day decided to sell the thing before the stress of it drained the life from him.
In saying those words to me, he described the process he went through as he figured out how to sell his company, and the importance of what he calls a “life-affirming decision.” He had thought for years about selling it, but in his own words had been “greedy,” and his asking price had been too high. He had poured in decades of energy, yet when faced with the prospect of his own mortality, the calculus changed. He stressed the necessity in that moment for surrender – becoming untied to any particular outcome — and the trust that has to come along with that.
For the first time in my adult life, I am trying to do something completely on my own. There is no one looking over my shoulder, no one making sure I’m doing what I need to be doing every day. If I so chose, I could smoke pot and listen to Malian desert music all day and no one would even know.
Sometimes when I think about what I am working on, I get caught up in what it could become.
“People all over the world will be writing letters to their former selves!”
“The book will sell like hotcakes!”
“This will be something that matters.”
Our glorification of overnight success — the Justin Biebers and the guy from Snapchats of the world — makes it all seem within our grasp. Success on that scale would of course be welcomed, but I do not think it can be my goal here.
After reading it half a dozen times, I gave a book called The War of Art several of my friends for Christmas. The author encapsulates the struggle with the Self to manifest whatever it is that we are put on this planet to do. The key, for me, is his emphasis on keeping one’s own identity separate from whatever work one is doing. If it fails, it does not make me a failure. If it succeeds, it does not mean I am successful.
I am saying this publicly because it is time for me to surrender. I will be happy if I get to learn from people who have taken more breaths and seen more days than I have. I don’t have a truck, but I have a pretty roomy Honda-CRV. That will be just fine.
It hits us all at one time or another in quiet and not-so-quiet ways. We are getting older. Time is marching, no matter how hard we run or try for a sleight of mind. We know in that quiet heart-voice that the physical resilience and harsh innocence of our youth will turn the corner — never to be quite ours again.
We don’t see this passing — or feel this passing — as it is happening. It is only in retrospect, that we look over our shoulders and notice that the minutes have become mountains of time-slapped events that we can catalogue and count. A phrase like, “Well, about 20 years ago,” can give us a real tunk upside the head. “Twenty years ago?” Dear God!
Time is an interesting task master. It heals all wounds. It waits for no man. It is fleeting as it crawls. We mark our minutes by it and our hours — then our years and our children’s generations. We catalog it. We get caught in it and we flee from it. Yet in essence, time is really only the “hash marks” we use to organize ourselves and others as we move through life. Time helps us keep track of the who and the what, and the when and the how long.
And our bodies go along for this ride, as well. They track time quietly or not so quietly. Those aches and pains and those mirrored reflections, tell us that our outsides are changing. This flesh that calls us human is beginning to show the dents and dings and the wear and tear of our days upon this earth. Yet inside, where the clock has no tick, resides the ageless soul-filled powerhouse of our true being. The wonder-aching child stands next to the crinkle-eyed adult. The saint and the sinner stand hand-caught within us, as we peer out at the world.
The hourglass fills and empties and we place ourselves on a continuum that society and ourselves give judgment to. We should be doing this by now. We should have accomplished that by now. We are too young for this or too old for that. Time on the run can be cruel — a harsh whip that strikes with too little or too much as it whistles its song in passing.
But time doesn’t have to be on the run. We can slow it down. We can unleash the bridle that holds us helpless or harried as the hands do their turn. This takes conscious choice and a determined peace. It takes a willingness to live from an inner place that calls each second precious. When we learn to honor and hold each moment, each moment honors and holds us. We shall discover and remember the joyful cry of the young lover, the curiosity of the explorer and the wisdom of the sage that are inside ever waiting for us — if we but allow them.
In recent years, however, more and more people are trying meditation. After experiencing the tastes and delights of an inner landscape they find this foreign travel is not so foreign. In fact, meditation is just the opposite. It is an experience of coming home within ourselves. With less worldly distraction, our awareness finds its own essence, an innocence of simply being. When the details on our mind are not so busy occupying and stirring up our attention, an experience of our heart is naturally present. Love comes forward in our awareness. People who meditate discover love is their true awareness when all the stuff of daily life is not mixed in.
Every day, meditation and the calming, centering effects call more love from within us and into our lives. Yes, meditation invites love into our lives.There is no magic here. A brief time of morning meditation including simplicity, being, silence becomes an anchor for more simple being and peace in our lives. Love attracts love. As meditation becomes a priority so does love become more front and center.
As we take time for meditation, our awareness learns to rest in our heart. We are thinking less and being heartfully more present. In the silence of meditation, our noisy thoughts dissolve in an inner quiet. So much thinking welcomes peace and quiet. Our awareness naturally grabs the stillness of meditation like a child grabbing candy! The sweetness of no thought is just too good to pass by. Of course the world keeps tugging on us. But with our meditation practice, the way to the candy store becomes clearer, easy, and fun. We know it is there. We just have to take the time, close our eyes, and go there.
The simplicity of our journey into meditation becomes a lesson in simplicity in other parts of life. Simplicity is love’s best friend. There is no limit to where simplicity and love, where this relationship can lead us.
With meditation, each of us find our own special way to uncover our ground of being. A candle, ocean view, sacred altar, mantra, or simple silence and meditation begins. Underneath our complicated personality, our likes, dislikes, fears, and self importance, our awareness can just be. As we grab onto inner silence, our thoughts are untying. As the rope of our mental life loosens, meditation opens the heart. As we enter, we are free. The inner quiet washes our personality. The deep silence of meditation is perfect therapy, healing, restoring love into the very structure of our personality and life.
There is an inner vault. It is a place where our daily world cannot enter. I use the word “vault” because even though there are actually no walls, the boundary to this place is so true, nothing but silence, being, awareness can be present. This place is available to all of us. This inner vault is a solid place of complete quietude. Here God is absorbing us and we are absorbing God. There is no separation. Meditation is the most direct route. As we leave our daily world behind, the gentle wind of our breath and stillness of heart take us. An inner space opens. Meditation lessens the weight of our personality as we embrace this vault of inner stillness. There is an emptiness which is actually a warm, pure presence. Deep silence and this inner vault comes forward. Deep silence and the landscape of the heart inside our heart unveils. Here there is a vastness and quality of love that is other worldly yet very natural, as if always waiting for us.
As where before we would chase riches in the world, in meditation we begin to unearth inner riches. In our ground of being is real treasure. Here is an abundance which gives us generosity, humility, and gratitude. Our patterns, routines in worldly life begin to change. Much of who we think we are, what we do is only a habit of thought and doing. The treasure inside us changes all of this and that, changing much of what we think, feel,strive for, and hold onto as important.
This inner treasure is our source of more honesty, humor, patience, and kindness for ourselves and others. Our normal identity and priorities are transforming. Vacations, retreats, retirement is planned around life’s real treasure.It is rather easy to step aside from the distractions in daily life, at least for some days. Getting by our own mental distractions is more of a challenge. Compulsive thoughts, our ever wandering mind can seem so overwhelming. Here our intention is important. Lets seek real peace and quiet. Our focus and concentration helps tame our distractions. Lets practice receiving our heart essence. This gentleness within tames our nervous energy. The peace around us supports us to find and receive deep inner silence. Step by step, meditation is breaking habits of thought and compulsively doing for the special love of simply being.