10 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Children

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
10 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Children
What do children know that adults seem to have forgotten? Children are more confident, more courageous and enjoy life far more intensely than adults. Sometimes it feels that we spend our entire lives trying to return to who we were as children. Here’s what we can learn from our younger selves to bring more clarity and joy into adulthood.

1. Every day is a fresh start.

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” – L.M. Montgomery.

Wasn’t it alway amazing how the end of a school day always felt so final, so finished? The break between June and September seemed like a lifetime. Because when you are young, every day feels like an eternity and a new day means new opportunities to make new friends, explore new adventures, learn new things. Children don’t carry baggage from one day to the next. They start fresh, always.

2. Creative pursuits are fun and good for you.

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

How often do you see children losing themselves in a creative project for hours at a time? Drawing, playing with clay, building a sandcastle with meticulous attention to detail. For some reason, as we get older, we stop seeing creative activities as worthwhile. How many adults, aside from artists, draw on a regular basis? How many play with clay or finger paint just for the fun of it?

3. Be courageous.

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin.

Sing out loud. Dance when you feel like it. A child’s life feels limitless because they are not confined by fears of failure or humiliation. They march forward with hope and determination because they don’t know any better. They haven’t been beaten down, they haven’t experienced failure. They embrace life and all it has to offer with open arms.

4. Laugh every day.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

Children have the beautiful ability to find joy all around them. Just watch the humor a child can find in a shopping mall or at the park. They see silliness everywhere.

5. Be active.

“Play energizes and enlivens us. It eases our burdens. It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities.” – Stuart Brown

When you were young, playing outside was the highlight of your day. You would run and chase your friends until you were out of breath and your cheeks were rosy. You would jump and do cartwheels at the drop of a hat and you never thought of it as “exercise” or “daily fitness.” It was just playing. And it was fun. “It is a happy talent to know how to play.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. Nurture friendship.

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran

Children find true joy while playing with friends and they love making new ones. They join soccer teams, go to a birthday parties, start new schools. These are all ways that kids make new friends. Children adhere to the motto, “the more the merrier,” and adults should, as well.

7. Be the hero.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron

When a child tells you a story about school or the soccer field, they are usually the hero of their story. The world revolves around them. As we age, we don’t want to be conceited or egotistic, so we downplay our accomplishments and achievements. We don’t want to brag. But in doing so, we often slip to the side of self-deprecation. We put ourselves down to make others feel better or to be more relatable. Modesty becomes an admirable quality and we start to convince ourselves of our own mediocrity.

8. Scars are badges of honor.

“Every day you either see a scar or courage. Where you dwell will define your struggle.” – Dodinsky

When a child breaks a bone, everyone they know will sign the cast. They become the superstar of the class, the survivor. If they fall down and cut themselves, everyone wants to see the scar, they wear it proudly. As we get older, we hide our scars, our wounds become our secrets. We don’t want to be seen as weak or pitied, so we tell no one where it hurts. But what children recognize is that scars aren’t signs of weakness, a scar is a sign of strength and survival. A story to tell. An accomplishment.

9. Try new things.

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Gide

Children are not afraid to play a sport they have never tried before. They will jump on a trampoline, dive into a pool or ski down a mountain even if it is foreign to them. As adults, we fear the unknown. We stay safely ensconced in our comfort zone and rarely venture out. Adventure exhilarates us and awakens the spirit.

10. Notice the little things.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Brault

My niece loves watching the sandpipers run back and forth at the water’s edge. She notices their little legs and how fast they move along the sand. Something simple that we take for granted brings her immense joy and profound inspiration. When did we stop noticing the tiny miracles that surround us daily? How much more beautiful would life be if we could see these miracles again?

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This post originally appeared on Daily Moxie.

You can also find Jocelyn on Twitter and Instagram.

When Your Relationship Is Rocky, Look Right at Your Expectations
One of the best ways to think of a relationship on the rocks is to reflect on your expectations for your relationship. What are they? What is it that you really want from your partner? What could your partner do now that would — from your point of view — make the relationship work again? Make a comprehensive list, and pay special attention to what you now recognize your unique issues to be.

If your partner were to compile a list such as the one you just did, what would he or she be asking of you? Compose a list of what you think your partner’s responses would be, then take each of these answers individually and ask yourself what you would be willing give up, give in to, or change about yourself in order to accommodate your partner. What are you now willing to do that you may not have been willing to do before, in order to save your relationship or simply to make the climate better?

Many believe in a variation of the idea, “If only I had the right relationship, my life would be totally complete.” But then once involved, the expectations sometimes become so high that in the end, no relationship could possibly meet them all. Thus, it turns into a source of unfulfillment. That’s why it’s important for you to identify and very carefully reflect on what your relationship expectations are. For example, perhaps you tell yourself that your partner should always “be there for you.” Yet, when you look realistically at this request (or demand) you can see how tall an order that expectation can be. Can you always “be there” for your partner? Being realistic goes a long way.

When thinking about how your partner would respond to those same questions you’ve answered for yourself, be empathetic or tuned in to what your partner feels. Remember, that if you are working on these questions in private, there is no downside to reflecting on them in the privacy of your own mind, with total honestly.

Beware of what I have long called the “soulmate syndrome,” which is fueled by the highly unlikely idea that your partner should effortlessly be a perfect match for you in every way. I know of no relationship that perfect, because this is an impossible standard! Your expectations are highly personal matters; and nobody else really can what yours should be. But sometimes simply realizing how your expectations of your partner — and/or of relationships in general — have sabotaged you can make a huge difference.

Most importantly, remember that expectations are in fact premeditated disappointments. In other words, no expectations, no anger — reduce your expectations, increase the peace between you. Managing your expectations together is rarely easy, but it’s that simple!

Trouble Making Decisions? Read This!
Decisions can be overwhelming. Should I start my own business? Should I try online dating? Should I go for a promotion? Should I move to a new city? Should I go back to school? Sometimes just the sheer magnitude of the decision puts you off from doing anything at all. This can go on and on for some time. And it’s paralyzing.

Here’s what you need to know. Inaction is action. When you spend days, months, years thinking about whether or not you should do something, you waste precious time actually doing something more harmful: zero.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s important to make considered, well-thought-out decisions, especially when they’re life changing like some of the above. But lets not confuse fear of failure and chronic over-thinking with decision-making. With some guidance laid out here, and by listening to your intuition, you can make the right choices in your life and feel confident, empowered and in control doing so.

Here are five tips to make the right decision for you:

1. Stop asking other people.

Trust that your inner voice, your intuition, has all you need to know. You are whole and have the answers, my friend!

2. Sleep on it.

There’s rarely a real rush to make a big decision, and 24 hours to make one (when there are external factors involved — e.g., your boss is waiting) is always a good idea. A fresh, relaxed mind in the morning is at its most clear.

3. Take some quiet time.

Whether you meditate, think best while running or simply tune in to your center while sitting on your couch with tea, be still and take an hour or two to connect with your inner wisdom. It surfaces when we allow it to.

4. Consider both clear outcomes of the decision in mind.

Write them down. Imagine all of a sudden that one of the two outcomes was taken off the table. Scratch it out on the paper. Do you feel disappointed or relieved with what remains? If it feels good, here’s your answer!

5. Create a personal deadline to making it happen.

No negotiating on this one!

Use this momentum to just take the next small step. Do this immediately — momentum creates more momentum, so use the energy created by making the decision to take some action. For example, you might say, “By Friday at 5 p.m. I will buy my business URL and speak to my bank about a business loan.”

You don’t need everything figured out. You just need to get clear on what we want, then start to walk in that direction. Independence and choice have great power and potential for you on the path of becoming your highest self. Claim your power now.

Meet Chade-Meng Tan, The Teacher Of Google’s Enrichment Class
Chande-Meng Tan’s official job title at Google used to be “engineer”; these days, it’s “jolly good fellow.”

Tan’s official job description at Google is to “enlighten minds, open hearts, create world peace,” which he does by teaching an enrichment class for employees at the search engine’s Silicon Valley headquarters. He spoke with HuffPost Live’s Caroline Modarressy Tehrani on Friday to explain more about his journey and the philosophies he shares with his Google colleagues.

“The biggest hurdle, especially when it comes to learning mindfulness and meditation, is that people try too hard,” he said. “And actually, the person who did that the worst was me. When I started meditating, I couldn’t even breathe because I was trying so hard. I lost my ability to breathe. I was the worst meditator in the history of the world. The solution to that is the ability to balance effort with letting go.”

Watch the full HuffPost Live conversation with Google’s jolly good fellow Chade-Meng Tan below.

HuffPosters Share Their Best Tips For Being Your Best Self
In celebration of Arianna Huffington’s latest book, “Thrive,” HuffPost Live is examining the power of the four pillars of the Third Metric — well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving.

HuffPost staffers previously joined together to share their stories of giving, wisdom and wonder. Last but not least, they dove deeper into the meaning of well-being. From doing yoga to simply just saying no, take a look at the little things they suggest doing to heighten one’s well-being.

Hear our favorite tips for well-being in the video above, and see the full HuffPost Live conversation on the topic below:

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