Honoring Your Word: Why It Feels So Damn Good

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Honoring Your Word: Why It Feels So Damn Good
“Energy is a more efficient means of affecting matter than chemicals.” — Bruce Lipton

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Photo Credit: The Coveteur

When you honor your word, you send a signal to your brain that you love yourself. That you are worthy and you deserve to not be lied to. This signal reinforces a sense of self-care, a sense of “I am worth it,” which then creates more opportunities and inclinations to honor oneself.

It is cyclical in nature, and goes in an upward spiral. The reverse is also true, which is why you see those who honor themselves become stronger in their word and grounding in who they are. Those who practice self-compromise often lie in a pool of delusion and indecisions. I’ve been in both and have spent far more time in the latter — more than I’d like to admit.

Honoring your word begins with honoring yourself. As simple as it sounds, and as much of it is a human birthright, it often is forgotten in the midst of competing demands and obligations. Here are three elements to remembering to honor yourself in those crazy moments of life.

1. Have a daily grounding exercise.
This could be prayer, meditation, exercise, connecting with your partner or all of the above. I personally practice yoga daily. If I can’t make it to the studio, I do a breathing meditation from home. I also pray and meditate first thing in the morning. When I don’t do this I feel the difference and the happenings of the day impact me more.

A simple grounding exercise that takes less than a minute and works a world of wonder: When you first wake up in the morning, experience the breath that moves through you. This is life-force. We cannot live without breath for more than three minutes. Nourish in it as it moves across your nostrils, through your lungs, and in your abdomen. As you get more acquainted with this you will begin to experience it in areas you wouldn’t expect like your pelvis and back.

Take three deep breaths and just surrender to the sensuality that is you. The full body experience of being a woman. This will allow you to connect to your body and your power source.

2. Set an intention for the day.
As an entrepreneur I have many times gotten lost in the day or the week. Confusion can be the source of procrastination for many. Setting an intention and three clear, achievable goals for the day is a powerful practice. Keep it to just three, resist the temptation to do it all. If you get more done great, you probably will. Define the essential three so you can prioritize your day. Ideally you can get these done before noon, so the rest of the day feels lighter and even “extra”.

I have a friend that I send my daily three to each morning. It is liberating because it isn’t the burden of a to-do list. It is an intentional list that will move whatever I am working on forward that day. It’s amazing how it works and the three and more always somehow seem to get done.

Set these three goals outside of regular status, check-in meetings or even wife and mommy duties. It could be a wife/mommy goal, a work goal or a personal goal. Just keep it outside of those things that have become routine. Though when beginning a new routine (e.g., writing daily for 30 minutes), be sure that it is on there the first few weeks.

3. Return to the breath throughout the day. Once you are grounded and clear on your intentions/goals for the day. Life happens. Always return to the practice of the first 30 seconds of your day. The Breath. It is amazing how one deep inhale and exhale can shift perspective in crazy moments. With time you will begin to rely on the breath consistently, almost like a constant meditation.

In those crazy moments when a coworker is raising her voice or saying something insane, or when it’s 3:59 p.m. and there are four hours of work to get done and you must leave by 5:30 p.m. Just breathe, and be surprised at how much gets done, taken off your plate, and easily shifted to tomorrow. The magic is in your body, it is the source of creation. The breath takes you there.

When creating something new or beginning a new habit at times we can stumble. Remember that mastery comes with time and practice. Continue to begin again, and soon it will become second nature to you.

Exercise extreme self-compassion and always return to love and your word. You’re more magnetic than you know.

In the Beginning there was The Word.

10 Questions to Ask (And Keep Asking) in Dating Relationships
When it comes to dating, it seems you can find hundreds of thousands of websites, books, and people offering their tips and advice. I’ve personally read and heard a lot of this advice, but what I think is the most helpful when it comes to dating isn’t giving and getting prescriptions — it’s asking and answering questions.

To me, being self-aware is the first step in becoming a successful dater, and ultimately finding the right person. I think you’ll be surprised by how much you learn about what you actually need and want out of a relationship when you first look inwardly rather than outwardly.

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Here are some questions I think are good to ask yourself to make sure you’re staying to true your identity, whether you’re already in a dating relationship or interested in entering one (following six questions from Date or Soul Mate? by Neil Clark Warren):

1) Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

2) What is it like being you? More precisely, how do you feel about yourself — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?

3) What is the most important thing in the world to you?

4) If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be?

5) What is the role of God in your life?

6) Do you think of yourself as an emotionally healthy person? In what ways are you especially healthy, and in what ways could you use improvement?

…simple enough, right? The key to being self-aware, though, is that you continue to do so! I think it’s so unfortunate when people enter into a relationship (or even a friendship) and start to change who they truly are in order to please the other person or to make the relationship work.

Losing yourself in a relationship or another person isn’t something that happens overnight. Usually it happens slowly and without you even noticing it. It’s easy to become so caught up in the feelings you’re having that you don’t even realize you aren’t fully being your true self.

So here are a few more questions — this time about the actual relationship and how it may or may not be affecting you in a positive way:

7) Does the person you’re dating support your passions/calling in life?
If not, I don’t think I have to tell you that that’s a huge red flag. Whether he/she “gets” it or not, having someone who supports you and is always on your team is a must-have, if you ask me.

8) Do they get along with your friends (and vice versa)?
Who people “do life” with says a lot about who they are, as it does in your own life. I understand that not everyone is always going to completely hit it off, but feeling like your friends and significant other don’t mesh at all isn’t something to be ignored.

9) Do you ever feel yourself needing to change (even just downplay) things about yourself?
This is one that you really need to pay attention to because it happens subtly. The moment you feel yourself wanting to make sure to “do this” or “look like this” — really examine why you’re feeling that way (it’s not always a bad thing, but something you should reflect on). This is an area that it’s good to talk to a friend about. A lot of times our friends can see these things in us better than we can see them ourselves.

10) If you do find yourself changing, are the changes positive?
Change isn’t always a bad thing! When you get closer to another person, sometimes it’s inevitable. The important thing is to make sure that the changes are for the better. For example: Are you being challenged to become a better person and/or grow in certain areas of your life? Are you learning how to communicate better? Becoming more spontaneous? Responsible?

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Here’s the bottom line — the point of being self-aware before and within a relationship is that you should do your best to first know yourself as much as possible before partnering with another person.

From what I’ve witnessed, the most successful relationships are the ones where two people working towards personal wholeness come together, rather than two people looking to fulfill some sort of void. Not to mention that the more you know yourself and are confident in who you are, the more quickly you’ll be able to tell if someone would be a good match for you.

For me, answering those questions really changed the way I think about relationships in general. I realized that not only do I want to be confident and secure in who I am, but that I want to be surrounded by people who are of themselves as well. It’s not that we have to have it all figured out (who knows if we ever will!), but I think that at least a basic level of self-awareness is important in order to be in meaningful, fulfilling relationships with other people.

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Which of these questions do you agree/disagree with most?

How Our Words And Emotions Affect Our Communication
When we communicate, are we expressing our thoughts or are we expressing emotion?

In the video above, actor Isabella Rossellini and Hunter College psychology professor Diana Reiss delve into the idea that while thoughts and language are definitely linked, a lot is tied to the words we express. Whether it’s an animal, a baby or an actor, there is a deeper connection when it comes to how we communicate.

“If we go back to Aristotle … and other philosophers through the centuries, language and thinking were inextricably linked,” Reiss says. “The idea is language is an external representation of thought … as if we cannot think without language. We can think without language. Pre-verbal babies can think without language. People who don’t have the capacity for language because of some deficit can still think.”

Rossellini also explains how the feelings connected to our speech are what’s really indicative of our expression. The perfect example of this, she says, is when performers act out a scene with emotional conviction, connecting the writer’s words to an actual story. “[As an actor] you are in charge of the emotion, because there are no words that can be said without emotion,” she said.

For more on language and our emotional connections, check out Reiss and Rossellini’s Brainwave clip.

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Experience these fascinating conversations LIVE at the Rubin Museum in New York. Visit www.rmanyc.org/programs. The 50th ticket buyer referred from Huffington Post GPS for the Soul receives a free catalogue Worlds of Transformation: Tibetan Art of Wisdom and Compassion.

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