Man Captures Amazing Aerial Footage Of Dolphin Megapod Migration (VIDEO)

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Man Captures Amazing Aerial Footage Of Dolphin Megapod Migration (VIDEO)
This incredible footage from a drone flying over Dana Point in Orange County, Calif. was captured by Captain Dave Anderson of Capt. Dave’s Dolphin and Whale Safari. In this five-minute segment, we get soaring views over a megapod of dolphins and three gray whales migrating down the coast off San Clemente. Edited in is also some breathtaking footage of a Humpback whale calf nuzzling its mother, and an escort whale in Maui.

In the video description, Captain Dave says, “This is the most beautiful and compelling five-minute video I have ever put together. I learned so much about these whales and dolphins from this drone footage that it feels like I have entered a new dimension! I have not been this excited about a new technology since we built our underwater viewing pods on our whale watching boat.”

Amazingly, Captain Dave filmed the entire thing from a small inflatable boat, where he launched and caught the quadcopter by hand. It was a dangerous process, but no laws were broken. Still, wildlife videographers should not attempt to repeat the feat unless they are experienced and abiding by all laws.

Captain Dave works to educate the public about the massive whale and dolphin population off the California coast. He even started Orange County’s first whale disentanglement group in 2008, as entanglement in fishing gear is a major cause of dolphin and whale deaths around the world.

Via Viral Viral Video

How Facebook Saved One Police Officer’s Life And Inspired Him To Give Back
For the past two years, Minneapolis police officer Carlos Baires Escobar had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of a kidney, CBS Minnesota reported.

He was diagnosed with lupus about six years ago, and had been undergoing peritoneal dialysis, according to his Facebook plea for help.

“The chances of me receiving a kidney off of this list before I die are slim, and this is where I need your help,” Baires Escobar wrote on Facebook.

A 20-year-old stranger decided to make his dreams come true. Sebastian Rivera saw the Facebook post and, in January, he donated his kidney to Baires Escobar.

“Helping someone out, just because … it should be a normal thing,” Rivera told CBS.

On Saturday, local police officers and firefighters gathered at Uppercut Boxing Gym for a “Unite and Fight” event to raise money for Baires Escobar and his family, according to KSTP5.

“For me it’s kind of hard because the face of police officers is that you’re helping people,” Baires Escobar told the outlet. “You’re not asking them to help you because it kind of contradicts what the role is. So I kind of had to swallow my pride a little bit.”

They say what goes around comes around and that rang true for Rivera.

Right before the kidney donation surgery, Rivera got in a car accident leaving him with thousands of dollars worth of damages, CBS reported. He was out of work for weeks recovering.

Baires Escobar figured he’d return the favor and posted a message to help raise money for Rivera on the same Facebook page as his original post. He has set up a “Help a Hero” fund where donors can give to Rivera.

What Energizes and Restores You: Toward Doing More of What You Love
At a recent all-day retreat with the always wonderful Tama Kieves, I determined the immediate next step for me was making a list of what inspires and restores me vs. what drains me in order to create more spaciousness in my life. Especially during the winter months, it can be easy to get caught up in a hamster wheel of activity. I’ve found I lose touch with what’s most important as a result. Getting clear about each of these categories has given me a sense of calm and peace and greater clarity on when to say yes or no.

If you currently feel worn out or like you’re not sure how to get re-inspired, I encourage you to make your own list.

To help you get started, here’s a sample of what’s on mine.

What Energizes or Restores Me

Yoga
Going to the gym during work hours
Bike rides
Rumi (my cat)
Watercolors
Sleep
Meditation
Going for a walk
Tea
Sitting in a coffee shop journaling or reading
Hot baths
Writing
Talking to a beloved friend in a heartfelt way
Nature
Inspiring workshops or retreats
Reading good fiction

Now for the list of what zaps energy and takes away from a sense of flow or creativity.

What Drains Me

Staring at the computer all day
Over-checking email or the Internet
Too much Twitter
Certain work tasks and details that don’t necessarily need to be mine
Being over scheduled
Messiness
Not drinking enough water
Self judgment
Comparison to others
Days without exercise or healthy eating

I know for myself the more time I spend in the energize and restore space, the better I can reflect and make positive choices about the future and, perhaps more importantly, enjoy the present. My next step is printing out these lists so I can regularly remind myself in periods of lots of activity where I need to slow down and make time to energize and restore. What about you? What energizes and restores you, and what is doing the exact opposite?

‘I’ve Got Your Back’
Have you ever had the experience of being really upset about something — even upset at your partner — and your partner put his or her arm around you and said, “Honey, I can see how upset you are. I want you to know that I love you and I’m here for you. You are not alone.”

How would that feel to you?

One of the wonderful things we have to offer each other in our relationships is to have each other’s back. Being alone with difficult challenges is very hard. But all too often, this is not how couples relate to each other.

When you have been partnered for while, you get to know what pushes your partner’s buttons — what triggers them into fear, anxiety, anger or irritation. What do you generally do when your partner is triggered — especially when he or she is triggered by you? And what does your partner do when you are triggered by them or by something else?

Too often, when one person reacts with anger, anxiety or withdrawal, this activates the other partner’s fears of rejection or engulfment and the other partner then also reacts with anger, anxiety or withdrawal. This, of course, leads to fighting or distance in the relationship. But, what if you practiced not taking your partner’s behavior personally? What if, instead, you said to yourself, “This person, whom I love, is having a hard time. Even though he or she is taking it out on me, it’s not really about me — it’s about something that’s scaring him or her.” If you said this to yourself, would you be able to offer your partner a kind word and/or a loving touch? Sometimes this is magical in diffusing the activated feelings.

At other times, your partner might not be available for a kind word or touch. Sometimes, a person is so triggered into anger that any reaching out feels intrusive or threatening. Or, he or she might be so angry with you that your words or touch feel irritating to them and they are not open to it. When this is the case, the best thing to do is to lovingly disengage, saying something like, “I see that you are upset. I’m here for you if you need me, if there is any way I can be of help to you. When you are ready to talk about it without attacking me, I’d like to hear about what is so upsetting to you.” This way your partner knows that you are there — that he or she is not alone.

Being there for each other in very difficult times is one of the things that relationships are about. Without this caring and support, we feel very lonely, sometimes unbearably lonely. We are not meant to manage very difficult feelings and situations alone. We all need love and support when we are having a hard time or facing very challenging situations.

This does not mean that partners have an excuse to abuse each other. It also doesn’t mean that you can control whether your partner will allow you to be there for them — for example, if they consistently abandon themselves. We can support each other, but we cannot do for our partner what they need to be doing for themselves, without enabling them in their self-abandonment.

However, we’re all human, and there may be occasional times when you or your partner feel too overwhelmed to be there for yourself. Imagine that your feelings are your inner child, and imagine that when you feel badly, you are able to hold your inner child with a lot of caring and compassion. And imagine that your partner is holding you while you are holding yourself. This is very loving and supportive.

But sometimes, in extreme situations, we are so triggered into fear that we cannot hold ourselves. This is when we need our partner to stand in as the loving parent for our distressed inner child. We all have those times when our feelings feel so overwhelming that we just can’t manage them ourselves, and partners in a healthy relationship are able to do this in extreme situations. It is important, though, that it not become a habit, as it can be a slippery slope from occasionally stepping in and being there for your partner when he or she is distressed, to giving oneself up in order to avoid the pain of seeing one’s partner struggling with their own feelings.

Having each other’s back is of one of the great benefits of a loving relationship.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Relationships Course: “Loving Relationships: A 30-Day at-Home Experience with Dr. Margaret Paul – For people who are partnered and people who want to be partnered.” The course starts April 2.

Relationship Rx: 9 Tips for Establishing Emotional Intimacy
When I ask a couple in couple’s counseling, “So, tell me about the current status of your intimacy,” they inevitably start talking about their sex life. When I proceed to explain I am interested in their emotional intimacy, the male quickly turns his gaze toward his wife and the female typically speaks of the loneliness and isolation she experiences in the marriage. She may not know exactly what, but she does know something is missing in the marriage.

They likely love each other, believed that somehow love would engender a relationship characterized by depth, meaning and growth. Depth can be characterized as a boundless receptivity to how giving, receiving, planning, collaborating, loving and desiring might live in the relationship. A relationship has meaning when we cherish how these energies are living in our relationships. Growth happens when we live close to the question, “What is our relationship asking for?”

When dreams of love’s promises begin to unravel, a couple likely turns to blaming, criticizing and/or avoiding each other. The truth is they were never given the skills necessary to transform love into a deep, emotionally intimate connection. In a way, they were set up to be significantly disillusioned. If trust has become significantly eroded, they either settle in to emotional mediocrity and alienation or get divorced.

It appears that we emerge from the womb with strong needs for emotional and physical attachment. These needs quickly translate into a natural inclination to experience deep heartfelt sentiments characteristic of loving and being loved. However, these feelings, regardless of their strength, are not enough to engender emotional intimacy, which is a learned competency.

Some emotional intimacy skills might include:

1. Prioritizing our responsibility to love ourselves, and not asking significant others to do it for us. (This means we need to grow enough mindfulness to be aware of being plagued by self-loathing and committed to learn how to interrupt it. People who love us can support this interruption process.)

2. The ability to identify our own emotional needs, which may include: the need to be seen, heard, encouraged, considered, included, nurtured, understood, accepted, engaged, touched, held, desired, forgiven, collaboratively joined in problem solving and decision making and the recipient of affection. (This skill can be especially challenging for men since male acculturation mandates that males should not have emotional needs.)

3. The ability to talk about the above emotional needs and get them met in and out of our primary relationship. (I was once asked in a television interview, “What’s the one thing you would recommend to men in order for them to be better equipped to be emotionally intimate with the women in their lives?” My response was: “Men need to come to know and accept their emotional needs and develop strong emotional support with other men.” The interviewer looked dumbfounded. I went on to explain that if men come into their emotional needs with no other support but the significant females in their lives, they run a high risk of maternalizing their relationships, becoming sons of these women, which is not intimate.)

4. The ability to make clear, concrete requests, with all requests being legitimate. (This helps to avoid getting into long-winded evaluations of requests, which simply distracts from attending meaningfully to requests.)

5. The recipient of a request responds only with “yes,” “no,” or “I want to negotiate how I might support your request.” (The recipient can avoid being taking hostage by a request by answering authentically and dealing with any guilt a response of “no” might stimulate.)

6. The ability to make agreements and hold blameless and shameless accountability for broken agreements. (This kind of accountability has the person who breaks an agreement taking ownership for the broken agreement and offers restitution wherever possible, while recommitting to holding agreements or renegotiating in a timely fashion.)

7. Addressing breakdowns in a relationship where someone feels hurt and/or angry by identifying the problem as someone’s unmet need and the person with the problem being the one with the unmet need. (This breakdown protocol is critical since most breakdowns go unresolved because the problem and who has who has the problem goes unidentified.)

8. Identifying the nature of the unmet need, the means by which the need might be met and planning to talk along the way about how effectively the need is being met.

9. The ability to have honest conversations about fear. There are two fears which are a part of any committed relationship: the fear of losing ourselves to the preferences, values and beliefs of our partners and the fear of losing our partners either to some endeavor or to someone else.

These skills should not be read as formulas, which if followed, guarantee a satisfying and an emotionally intimate relationship. Similar to love, emotional intimacy is a profound mystery, which will not be penetrated. It is a daring undertaking, calling for an earnest commitment to continue learning about who we are and what our relationships are asking for. And most of all, living with a softness that allows us to forgive ourselves and those we love, as we fumble with the large energies flowing through emotional intimacy, such as passion, love, loyalty, betrayal, fear, anger, trust and distrust, commitment and disillusionment.

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