Man With Terminal Diagnosis Spends Last 6 Months Making His Wife’s Dreams Come True

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Man With Terminal Diagnosis Spends Last 6 Months Making His Wife’s Dreams Come True
When Chris Price was given just six months to live, he decided to use that time to make his then-girlfriend’s dreams come true.

In April 2013, the 26-year-old from Wales, who’d previously battled esophageal cancer, was diagnosed with cancer in his liver and lungs, BBC News reported. Price didn’t waste any time before proposing to his girlfriend, Ceri.

Shortly after their August 2013 wedding, Price took Ceri and her four children to Disneyland Paris, where they had the “most magical time,” according to WalesOnline. A few weeks later, they were off to New York City for a romantic getaway.

“If my love could have saved him, he would have lived forever,” Ceri, 29, told the outlet. “We packed so much into the short time we had together.”

Price just wanted to make his wife as happy as possible.

He died in Ceri’s arms last month, and his funeral was held in the same church where the couple wed, according to WalesOnline.

“His illness made him live completely in the moment and he taught me to do the same,” Ceri told BBC News.

Clarification: This post has been updated to reflect that Chris Price was Ceri’s husband when he died.

Daily Meditation: Make Your Own Road
We all need help maintaining our personal spiritual practice. We hope that these daily meditations, prayers and mindful awareness exercises can be part of bringing spirituality alive in your life.

Today’s meditation features a proverb by Spanish poet Antonio Machado who lived during the turn of the 20th century. Known for his introspective poetry, Machado evokes both beauty and melancholy in his work. This proverb reminds us that every individual walks a unique path through life. And from where we are all standing, the only direction to keep moving is forward.

footprints

There Is No Road by Antonio Machado

Traveler, your footprints
are the only road, nothing else.
Traveler, there is no road;
you make your own path as you walk.
As you walk, you make your own road,
and when you look back
you see the path
you will never travel again.
Traveler, there is no road
only a ship’s wake on the sea.

Terminal C: Lessons Learned for Happiness
I’ve learned a lot since starting the Time to Play, my “reminder to enjoy life” project. Here’s a quick story about an experience I encountered just this past Wednesday, February 19, 2014.

After the fact, it “hit me” that my behavior in the face of a trying situation was pleasing, and I realized I was truly proud how I handled my response. I realized my response was quite different than it would have been just a few months or years ago. I’m sharing with the hopes that my experience will help another person avoid having hard feelings.

I was in South Carolina to present a talk entitled, “The Ability to Play Is Not Just Physical,” at the U.S. Play Coalition’s National Conference the week of February 17. I believe everyone in the Northeast has experienced crazy weather lately. My airplane was a little delayed on the way down to South Carolina. The delay was not so bad, though, as it was a direct flight, and we even landed pretty much on time.

The way back was a little different. We were over a half hour late taking off. That would have been fine, but I had a connecting flight in Washington Dulles Airport back to New York’s JFK airport. I was never at the airport in Washington before, and had traveled alone to attend the conference. It’s definitely easier to figure things out when you have a companion, but here I was, on my own.

Before we landed I asked the stewardess if she knew what gate I needed to go to for my connecting flight back to New York. I knew that, with the delay, there would only be minutes between when we landed and when my connecting flight would be taking off. She said she did not know, but expected the gates would be close together and that I shouldn’t have a problem making my flight.

Well, the gates were not close by to each other. Not even a little bit. My flight landed at the absolute furthest point of Terminal A. I got out of one of the smallest planes I ever saw (it was a commuter plane, I was told) and went into the hallway of the terminal to search for a flight directory. I soon found that I had to be at Gate 28 in Terminal C!

I started following the signs to Terminal C. I walked and walked… quickly, I might add. The time was ticking.

I went down a huge escalator and found a “travel advisor” at the bottom. He was standing in front of a huge directory board. After waiting much too long for a woman to ask him where the rental cars would be found, I asked him how to get to Terminal C. He told me to take the “SUBWAY” to terminal C, and it should take about seven minutes for me to get there.

SUBWAY?” I exclaimed! Oh, my goodness, the time was ticking! So I started running down the hallway to find the subway.

At that point I could have started to get frustrated, grouchy, upset and angry.

But, I didn’t. I actually started running down the hallways making jokes to other people I passed along the way. I even made a few comments about how impressed I was about the person / people who designed this massive underground network connecting the airport and how amazed I was at how huge it was.

My only moment of panic was when I was on the subway between the terminals and the train’s computer voice said, “This train is now out of service”. Not that I minded if it was in or out of service, but I just had no desire to be stuck inside an out of service train. Once the train doors opened to let us out, I was fine.

I credit the education I have learned from my Life Coach training and my fellow Time to Play professionals, especially Rebecca L. Norrington. Rebecca speaks of internal peace, the universe, spirit and freedom.

I realize it is up to us how we are going to react to situations. We can allow situations that occur in our day to rob us of our happiness.

I learned it is up to us how we are going to react to others, to how they speak to us, or to things they do “to” us. We can let people rob us of our happiness, our feelings, our confidence, our self-esteem. We can allow our reactions to affect our day, week, or even longer.

I have learned, we can choose to react in a manner that enables us to shine.

Sometimes we have to take a moment to stop and to reevaluate a situation that may be escalating around us. But truly, I have found that it is worth it to do so.

I made it to Gate 28 and had a great flight back. I wound up talking to a wonderful woman who was sitting next to me. I was in a great mood and enjoyed the experience, and after I landed met my wonderful husband at the airport who had come to pick me up.

After the fact, I realized I was proud of my behavior. I am very proud of how I’ve grown, due to what I’ve learned through Time to Play. I am proud of having created a place where people can learn what they need to know so they can enjoy life. That is the ultimate goal of www.TimetoPlay.com.

If you have gotten to this point, I thank you for taking your time to read this. If you have a story to share where you are proud of how you handled a situation, please contact me. Sometimes examples of situations we encounter can help another learn how to not “let them in!”

We can’t control others, but I now know that it is truly up to us to control how we will behave.

Every day we have an opportunity to learn a lesson, if we listen closely and see. I am grateful to learn and for these opportunities to make my life better so I can enjoy life, and hope you can take advantage of these little opportunities, too.

With many blessings for great happiness and peace,

Doreen

Protect Yourself From Secondhand Stress
By Jan Bruce

Empathy is a wonderful thing. In fact, it’s an essential characteristic of resilience. Understanding what makes people tick, and most importantly, what they need, is what connects you with others, which in turn bolsters your ability to weather life’s rough patches.

But being attuned to others’ emotions means that you’re potentially leaving yourself wide open to their frantic, messy, grousing, all-around unpleasant feelings, too. Think of the last time you sat down with a coworker or friend who was up to her eyeballs in stress. It’s a safe bet that your internal temperature started to rise with every sullen silence or hurried bite. By the time she walked away, your own head hurt!

You weren’t imagining it: You just caught some secondhand stress. And if you’re the one doing the ranting, you’re also the one spreading stress all over the place. That’s not connection. That’s at best unpleasant, and at worst it’s emotional abuse.

Researchers have long known about the phenomenon of contagious stress. Partly, it’s a function of our brains being wired to mirror the actions and emotions of others. “Even if we’re not physically imitating what we see, mirror neurons still fire off a simulated version of the activity in your head as if you actually did it,” writes author Joe Robinson. “It’s all designed to help us learn, understand, empathize, and connect with what others are doing and feeling.”

Other people’s negative emotions hit us particularly hard, and bad moods abound. They’re a fact of life. That leaves you with two questions. First, how do you stay centered when someone else’s negativity barrels at you? Second, how do you take responsibility for how you convey your own stress?

The endgame here is to build authentic, empathetic connections that can be support systems in times of stress, rather than emotional dumping grounds. Here’s how to do it.

How to Build a Buffer Zone
Your instinct might be to shut down emotionally when you’re near a stressed-out person. Or to cut yourself off from other people so you don’t act like a jerk. This is a short-term solution that won’t serve you well long term, because 1) the delayed stress will only grow stronger the longer you wait to deal with it, and 2) isolation doesn’t build relationships. It weakens them. Besides, how long can you truly put off seeing your boss or spouse or child?

Instead, an emotional buffer zone allows you the space to feel, acknowledge, and name your reactions as they are happening. You may not be able to process every single feeling, but you’ll have created mental space to protect yourself from the intensity of the other person and manage your response to it. On the flip side, an emotional buffer zone can give you room to gather yourself, reflect on your actions, and redirect your energy when you’re spewing negativity.

1. Trap, Map, and Zap Your Triggers
At meQuilibrium, one of our core beliefs about stress is that while you can’t control what happens to you or around you, you can control how you respond to it. In the case of secondhand stress, this means that you are accountable for how you both react to the hyper-rushed colleague or grumpy spouse and how you express your own stress. And the sooner you practice being accountable, the faster you see that you have some control over what you do and why.

Try this: Learn to trap it, map it, and zap it. Say you have a run-in with the colleague who makes you feel crazy, or you feel yourself starting to vent loudly at a friend. Take five minutes to reflect on the situation.

First, trap it: Observe your emotions and where you feel them in your body.

Next, map it: Identify the thought going through your head that’s causing the emotion. What thought or story flashed through your mind that created that emotion?

Finally, zap it: Challenge the thought. Is it true? Recognize that most of what you’re feeling came from your interpretation, not from reality.

The next time you encounter this person or your own stress, you’ll be primed to recognize your thoughts and feelings, and you’ll have the skills to process them quickly.

2. Become an Olympic-Caliber Relaxer
The more you practice simple relaxation techniques, the faster and more powerfully they come to your aid when you need them. When you can relax your body in the midst of external and internal stress, you can build an emotional buffer zone at the drop of a hat.

Try this: Breathe in, breathe out. I recently read this line in an article about stress reduction techniques and loved it: “If you can regulate your breath, you can regulate pretty much everything.” Breathing is your all-purpose, 24/7 ally in keeping your head while everyone about you is losing theirs. (Tip of the hat to Rudyard Kipling, who knew a thing or two about resilience.) Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which slows the heart rate and governs your body’s relaxation response. And it’s easy: On an inhale, fill your lungs fully, hold for a second or so, and then exhale in a relaxed way. Continue for 60 seconds.

3. Make Friends with Boundaries
Sometimes a buffer zone does need to be literal as well as emotional. This is about knowing what your limits are — and respecting them, especially when friends, co-workers, or family members can’t or won’t. Make it clear what you will and will not tolerate in your presence. Boundaries also make it clear what sort of behavior is not okay for you to do to others. If you firmly believe in being kind to your spouse, then yelling at him over the phone because you lost your car keys is a violation of that boundary.

Try this: Write a personal bill of rights. Setting boundaries that stick can be hard, often more so for women. Marriage and family therapist Diane Lancer suggests writing a personal bill of rights to clarify your bottom line needs for your mental health.

Maybe this means putting the kibosh on some topics of conversation. Maybe it means taking physical space from the other person before you start to rant. It takes time and practice to communicate boundaries with confidence and compassion, so knowing your core values here will help you persist when you really do need to draw the line. Remember, the effort is well worth it. The clearer and calmer your boundaries, the more positive, respectful and supportive your connections will be.

Find more of our favorite simple relaxation practices.

Read more about how to trap, map, and zap negative thoughts.

Want to dramatically reduce your stress? Take our 28-day challenge.

Jan Bruce is CEO and co-founder of meQuilibrium, the new digital coaching system for stress, which helps both individuals and corporations achieve measurable results in stress management and wellness.

For more by meQuilibrium, click here.

For more on stress, click here.

When This Police Dog Retired He Got To Keep His Toys And His Loyal Companion
When most retire, they’re left with benefits.

When K-9 Officer Kojack retired, he got to keep his house, kennel, squeaky toys, greenies, rope toys and his human companion. What a deal!

Earlier this month, Reddit user, pconwell, uploaded the retirement letter that he wrote to his loyal K-9 partner and shared some cute pictures of his furry friend.

According to his posts, their friendship started the first day he brought K-9 Officer Kojack home:
first day home

They liked to hang out in the backyard and play ball:
dog with ball

Kojack even got to nap on the job:
dog sleeping

Enjoy retirement, K-9 Officer Kojack!

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