Fearless Love

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Fearless Love
Truth be told, I never thought I was marriage material before I met my husband. But four months ago — and for the first time — I became a wife in midlife.

The speed of our romance surprised all of our friends and family.

We met in the spring, got engaged in the summer and got married in the fall — it all happened within six months last year.

Many longtime friends in America and my family in Hong Kong expressed a sigh of relief.

“The long wait is over! Mable’s married — finally!” screamed a close friend. Seriously, they never thought they’d see this day. One former TV colleague openly predicted many years ago that I would never get married. Why not? Well, they saw me as too career-focused, too independent, too picky. All that is true — partially. But what they don’t see is the underlying layers of fears about marriage.

Yes, I had been cautiously picky, fiercely independent and perpetually curious about what’s next in life.

Yes, I had previously structured my life around my career as an American network news producer — always chasing the next great story, seeking a new and different challenge, putting work before friends, family and community.

And yes, I was mentally married to my work, living like a network nun. The more time I devoted to work, the less I had to develop a meaningful, life-long partnership.

But deep down, I feared the trappings of marriage. Don’t get me wrong; I longed to be with someone in an exclusive and committed relationship, but marriage is different.

I feared that marriage would make me give up independent thoughts and ideals.

I feared losing the freedom to pursue new career interests, to find new ways to express myself, to discover fun things to do with my time. Meanwhile, my mind was also trapped by a traditional leaning towards an ancient Chinese concept of marriage that mandates a dutiful wife who serves not only her husband at home, but also his business and social circles. I wondered if I could ever live up to these expectations.

But what I feared most about marriage was perhaps the prospect of divorce due to infidelity. Infidelity had been the culprit for numerous break-ups in the past, inflicting unbearable emotional pain, as well as self-doubt and shame that I wasn’t good enough.

Marriage as a legal pledge of love and commitment may also break down due to irreconcilable differences as couples grow apart over time and distance. Oh, how I dreaded that prospect of falling out of love, but staying as a wife.

Divorce is common in America, but it remains a curse in the traditional Chinese cultural environment in which I was raised. My parents, my parents’ parents and their grandparents stayed together until death set them apart. They did so out of loyalty and love, but they also shared the view that divorce is immoral. Sometimes, deep-seated cultural bias against divorce prematurely blames the woman for failing to keep the man happy — regardless of what the truth of the matter is.

Magically, all my fears about marriage began to fade over time.

Since last spring, when Ken and I met during alumni weekend at Harvard, I have been touched by a kind of love that is refreshingly liberating and nurturing. As someone who’d been through the midlife phase of soul-searching and career change from Wall Street to the academia, Ken understands firsthand the importance of opening one’s mind to uncharted terrain. And as a widow who’d lost his wife of 30 year to a long illness, he cherishes sharing his stable life with an equal and devoted partner. He’s urged me to be bold, to take risks, to re-configure my life, to re-launch my career. In essence, he makes me realize that in our marriage, I can be free.

His generous love expands my vision of marriage, allowing me to adopt a brand new attitude about the endless possibilities on the horizon. There are no hard rules of do’s and don’ts in a marriage, no room for fear in true love.

All Your Favorite Internet Goats Back To Baaaahk Because Dreams Really Do Come True
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Throughout the history of time and space,

There’s been just one species that can’t be replaced.

Yes, we are talking about our hooved bros,

The billies, the bucks, the nannies and does.

Those furry, horned wonders

That get into of blunders,

The gallant buck-aneers that we love so dear.

That bovinae family’s all grazing right here!

Our favorite animals have gathered en masse,

And if you don’t like them, go chew on some grass.

So come on kids, let’s ruminate on goats, goats and more goats, because… well, you deserve it. Okay, deep breath. Here we goat!

1. Remember the Internet fad “little goats in little sweaters?” #Neverforgoat

Bell of the bahhhhl

These kids are fashion-forward thinkers.

Forget sweaters. Bring on the hats.

Now that’s a bahhhhdass goat.

2. Goats can sometimes be world-class jerks.

Don’t be fooled by their angelic faces

Because it’s a goat-eat-goat world. Anyone up for some goat jerky?

See, not even puppies can win the affections of a goat. Their poor little bleating hearts.

Kid vs. kid. Kid wins.

How do you stop goats from charging? Take their credit cards away. Womp womp.

Goats butt into everyone’s business.

Even their own.

But don’t even think about trying to argue with them.

Because you’ll always lose.

3. Here are some humans dressed up as goats, screaming.

They are human… We swear…

See for yourself.

And for good measure, a chicken dressed up as a goat sounding like a chicken. Just kid-ing. It’s a goat.

4. Goats On Other Things Get Our Goat

Goats on a metal sheet won an Internet gold medal.

Caprine on swine.

On a tortoise.

On a tree.

On a trampoline.

Speaking of goats on trampolines...

On grass. So doe-p.

On a guy doing this.

5. Goats love the performing arts.

Taylor Swift knows it.

This bleatboxing goat knows it too.

And when a goat wins an Oscar, they thank God in their acceptance speech.

Last but not least is the Internet’s greatest gift to man — The goat simulator, developed by Coffee Stain Studios. That’s right, you can pre-order the game for just $9.99. And trust us, it will be worth every cent. Here is the trailer:

Now go close your creepy horizontal eyes, and dream about goats…

Kissing you.


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