How Embracing Your Sweetness Can Benefit Your Well-Being

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
How Embracing Your Sweetness Can Benefit Your Well-Being
sweetness

“Make me sweet again, fragrant and fresh and wild, and thankful for any small gesture.” — Rumi

On a snowy day in New York City, I jumped into a cab and in a hurry asked the driver, “Please take me as fast as you can. I can’t be late for my appointment.”

The cab driver very kindly turned to me and said, “I’ll do my best, but your safety is more important to me than going fast.” He was an older man with such a kind presence that touched my heart.

On the window dividing us was a life achievement certificate for his service to his passengers. I was curious and asked him about it, and he said, “Driving in the city is a battlefield. It seems like everyone is out for themselves. You fight every day. But,” he went on, “I treat every passenger that comes as someone very valuable.”

We ended up chatting about the city, the people, and life. Before I knew it, we had arrived. I thanked him for the ride and tipped him generously.

“You are such a sweet lady,” he said to me, “Women in New York have become too much like men. I have daughters, and I say to them ‘Be sweet, don’t be like men.'” He turned to me, looked at me and said, “Don’t ever lose your sweetness.”

I shook his hand and told him he’d made my day, and he said, “You’ve made mine.” As he drove away, I teared up at this spontaneous and heartfelt exchange. Clearly, I had come across a very caring human being.

This encounter stirred up something in me that I have been wanting to write about. Why is it that we women start to loose touch with our sweetness and deny that part of ourselves?

When we are children we are innately filled with sweetness. As we grow up we are socially trained to replace that quality with a drive for achievement, and the need to belong starts to compromise who we are in our essence. Gradually, our sweetness is replaced by our external personas and the image we project in the world.

Even when we try to walk the spiritual path, our most devoted practices that lack sweetness can leave us dry like the dessert. Unless our heart is in any kind of spiritual practice, we can very well miss the point. A moment of loving and sweetness can help us connect back to ourselves.

Sweetness often gets a bad rap and is seen as a weakness. If a man is sweet, he is described as effeminate, and if a woman is sweet, she is deemed weak and not sexy. Well, I think sweetness is the new sexy. Consider how we cry at movies during scenes that touch the heart, but then emerge into our lives and tuck that emotion away so we can survive in our competitive world. After all no one puts on their resume “I preserved my sweetness” and is hired for it.

And yet, the fastest way to someone’s heart is to be sweet to them. Maybe the reason we all crave and love sweets is because we all crave to taste the sweetness of life…

It’s so important that we do not become bitter when we do not get what we want or because the men we marry turn out to be different from what we expected, or we have a bad breakup, or a job falls through. On the other hand, when we do get what we want and succeed, it is important that we do not become harsh, aggressive, and disconnected from our true nature of our feminine spirit in order to maintain that success.

Underneath all of our interactions lies the heart, which longs to be authentically seen, known, shared, welcomed, and accepted. There is nothing more intoxicating than the gift of an open heart and human warmth. These are the natural gifts that keep on giving, and there is a never ending well from which we can all draw. I think this is part of the reason people fall in love when they go to Greece — there is an outpouring of warmth and caring that you feel down to your bones.

When my dad was at the last phase of his life, I watched a man who I had known and loved, who had demonstrated the qualities of Zeus, Poisedon, and Hades, asserting his power with a volatile temperament, transform into a sweet and vulnerable man. But isn’t it a shame to wait until the end of your life to experience the sweetness that we all came into the world with? So share your sweetness to those you meet each day. By sharing your sweetness, you will inevitably attract it ten-fold. You’ll start to feel so abundant.

Don’t miss this moment by hurrying too quickly to get to the next thing and the next thing. What matters, and what makes us feel alive, is that we pause to savor the sweetness of life and of each other. Don’t hide it. As Rumi said, “Find the sweetness in your own heart, that you might find it in every heart.”

Share with me: How do you share your sweetness, and how can you experience more of it?

Visit me here at http://unbindingtheheart.com.

Why Worrying About ‘Having It All’ Is Bad For Women
To an outsider, it probably looks like Crystal Brown-Tatum has everything.

“As an African American woman, business owner, mother, army wife, I wear so many hats, and on the surface, people may think, ‘Well, she has it all,'” she told HuffPost Live’s Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani.

The ideal of “having it all” has long been a point of contention among women, but Brown-Tatum prefers to keep those words completely out of her vocabulary.

“I hate the term ‘having it all’ because it implies that who you are and where you are in life is not enough,” she said. “While you may be happy and you’re at a good point in your life, if you adopt the mindset that you do not have it all, then you’re constantly struggling. You’re constantly in that race with yourself to acquire more things, to accomplish more things, and you really can’t enjoy where you are.”

See the full HuffPost Live conversation about women who say they already have it all in the video below.

Thomas Stone High School Is About To Make You Happy (VIDEO)
Sometimes all you need to do to be happy is dance.

At least, this seems to be the sentiment at Thomas Stone High School in Waldorf, Maryland. Watch as students, administrators and faculty strut their stuff to Pharrell’s hit song “Happy” in this hilarious and creative dance montage. Just about everyone gets into the groove!

“Special thanks to Mr. Meiser and the TSHS administration for creating the positive atmosphere that this video represents,” the credits read. “… And allowing us to disrupt the academic environment in short bursts while filming it.”

Kudos, guys.

From a NICU Nurse, to a NICU Mom
I recently read a blog post from a NICU mom that gave insight into the NICU, and expressed appreciation to NICU nurses for all that we do. It was so touching. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. We all want to feel like the effort that we have put in has not gone unnoticed. After reading that post I am moved to write about my appreciation for the NICU parent. I could never hope to write as eloquently as that mother did, but I do hope to make a few people feel appreciated in their efforts.

Whoever coined the term “NICU Mom,” I don’t know, but I do know that nobody aspires to be one. There is not one expectant mother out there who sees the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and says, “Yay, I can’t wait to spend three months in the NICU watching my ever-longed-for precious gift from God experience pain and suffering that most people can’t even begin to imagine.” No father says, “I can’t wait to be forced to choose between being with my critically ill newborn or his recovering mother,” or “I can’t wait to describe my child to his mother because she can’t be with him, while trying to make her feel like it’s going to be OK, when I’m not sure it’s going to be.” Nobody wants that, but when put in that situation, you step up.

You wheel your still-recovering body down to the NICU as soon as your doctor says you can, or sooner in some cases. Despite your hours of labor, followed by an emergency C-section, that have left you sleep deprived, mentally and physically drained, you wake every two to three hours to a breast pump so you can get the 2cc of milk that your baby may not be able to eat until days or weeks later. You hold your breath every time you see your hospital’s name on the caller ID and think, “I only left for a couple of hours.” You spend countless nights getting what little sleep you do get in a recliner or foldout sofa next to your baby’s incubator.

Well, YOUR efforts have not gone unnoticed either.

I have never been a NICU parent, but after 13 years as a NICU nurse I know them pretty well. From the parents of a term baby who’s only going to be there for a couple of days to those of a baby born at 23 weeks who may never know life outside of the NICU, I know your pain. I know that you are mourning the loss of your ideal. You are in a situation that you didn’t plan on being in, and everything that you did plan is now unobtainable. You feel completely unable to control the situation around you. You are dependent on others to do what you so dearly long to be able to do for your own child. Everything that you would normally do to comfort and care for your baby has been taken away from you. I’m here to tell you, I understand your pain and I appreciate you.

jenni steadman

You trust me with your most valued possession. You learn to trust my instincts and I yours. We become a team with one common goal in mind: to get your child home with you as quickly as possible and as healthy as possible. Thank you for that trust. You become my “friends” while we spend 36 hours a week together. After months of this, we have shared more conversation than I have with some of my closest friends. We have shared times of pain and times of joy. We have cried together and we have shared laughter. In some cases we share bonds that will extend far beyond the NICU. Thank you for being my friend.

You forgive me when I speak medical jargon. I’ve told you so many times about bradys, saturations and emesis that you start to speak the language back to me. You learn to convert grams to pounds and ounces in your head instantly (or you get an app for that). You celebrate every one of those grams gained like trophies earned; bowel movements become reason for celebration, too. Thank you for that forgiveness and for those celebrations. Most of you should have honorary nursing degrees.

On the day of discharge, I tell you to go home, stay on lockdown, screen your visitors and don’t let anyone touch your child without washing their hands — and you joyfully do so. I affectionately tell you to not come back and see me unless it’s for a visit, while I secretly anticipate your next visit or Christmas card. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing you and your child thrive outside of the NICU. Thank you for keeping in touch and keeping us updated. The NICU can be a depressing place (as you know); your updates help us keep faith that all we do is for a very good reason.

Thank you, NICU parents, for all you do. You make my job bearable and sometimes even fun. Keep those chunky baby pictures coming, and thanks for the: cookies, doughnuts, brownies, candy, cupcakes and everything else too.

Also on HuffPost:

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