The Surprising Thing About People That Shouldn’t Be Surprising

#truelove #allowing #dating

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
The Surprising Thing About People That Shouldn’t Be Surprising
Why are we always so surprised when people are nice?

During the recent Atlanta snow debacle, commuters found themselves stranded on the highway, some were stuck there all night. Upon hearing the news, several nearby families loaded wagons with crackers and water and delivered sustenance to the stranded motorists.

Someone on Facebook commented, “This just reminds you that there are still good people in this world.”

I’m struck by how surprised we always seem to be at the kindness of others.

In my experience, every time there’s a tragedy, or even a just calamity, people almost always come forth in a generous and caring way. Systems may fail, but when people have the opportunity to help, they almost always do it.

So why are we always surprised?

Is it because we ourselves would never do something kind or generous? Or is it because we believe that we’re in a small minority of people who care about others?

My husband was at the grocery store returning his cart to the outdoor cart corral when he noticed a large, rather worn, purse sitting in the cart ahead of his.

He looked around to see if someone was coming for it. When no one appeared, he picked up the purse, and took it inside to the customer service desk.

After waiting in line, he told the customer service manager, “I found this in a cart outside. When the person realizes that she forgot it, she’ll probably call or come looking for it. I thought this was the safest place to hold it.”

Again, the reaction was surprise.

The clerk said, “Wow, I can’t believe you returned it.”

A woman behind him in line said, “You are the nicest man.”

My husband is a very nice man. But he was taken aback by the surprised response to what he considered a fairly ordinary act of good citizenship.

I’m not so naive as to think that lost purses are regularly returned in crime-infested areas. My husband also pointed out that if he were black or Hispanic, he might have hesitated because he wouldn’t want to be accused of taking it.

But poverty and prejudice aside, I believe that in most situations, most people would have done exactly what my husband did.

We shared the story at a party later, and our friends disagreed. They said, “Most people would have taken the purse or at the very least ignored it.”

So I conducted an on-the-spot poll, “How many of you,” I asked, “would have done the nice thing?”

Every single person said they would have tried to help.

I believe them.

Several friends shared stories of when they had performed and received similar kindnesses. Like when a woman who found my daughter’s wallet in an Applebee’s parking lot and tracked down our phone number, or the person who found my iPad on the plane and turned it into the gate agent.

In both instances, I was grateful and appreciative, but I wasn’t surprised.

I believe, and I have evidence to prove, that people aren’t just good; people are fabulous!

They load wagons with crackers for strangers, they call you to return your wallet, and they show up with food and blankets at every tragedy this country experiences.

Next time you see someone doing something wonderful, be grateful, but don’t be surprised, that’s just the way people are.

(c) Lisa Earle McLeod

Lisa Earle McLeod is a sales leadership consultant. Companies like Apple, Kimberly-Clark and Pfizer hire her to help them create passionate, purpose-driven sales forces.

She is the author of several books including Selling with Noble Purpose: How to Drive Revenue and Do Work That Makes You Proud, a Wiley publication. She has appeared on The Today Show, and has been featured in Forbes, Fortune and The Wall Street Journal. She provides executive coaching sessions, strategy workshops, and keynote speeches.

More info: www.McLeodandMore.com
Lisa’s Blog – Life on Purpose

Striking Photos Challenge The Way We See Blackness
Who is Black? What is Blackness?

In a country where the face of the future is becoming ever more ethnically ambiguous, Blackness must be recognized as something other than just skin color and specific physical attributes. (1)ne Drop: Shifting the Lens on Race, a book published last year by Dr. Yaba Blay, explores the complexities of racial classifications, and the different ways that people live and experience Blackness.

Blay’s book, recently highlighted in a PolicyMic article by Amirah Mercer, features Noelle Théard’s photographs of individuals who fit the so-called one-drop rule, but who self-identify in various ways.

In antebellum America, the one-drop rule was used to define a person with any Black ancestry, no matter how remote, as Black. By 1910, this rule had become law in most Southern states “to protect and preserve White racial purity,” Blay writes in her book. “One hundred years later, however, the social and political landscape has changed. Or has it?”

Blay examines this issue through the narratives and photographs of contributors. She asks them questions like “How do you identify? Racially? Culturally? Upon meeting you for the first time, what do people usually assume about your identity? Do people question your Blackness?”

Tigist Selam, “Ethiopian and German”
selam
“I personally identify as Black racially, Ethiopian and German/American culturally. I never say I’m Black except for in political context, because I don’t even know what that means … To me, culture is very specific, and I’m multicultural. So, when I identify as Black, I’m making a political statement; I’m not trying to simplify my own cultural complexity.”

Zun Lee, “Black” Photographed by Carolyn Beller
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“I identify as Black. And when I say ‘Black,’ it’s not just based on race or color; it’s about what feels most comfortable in terms of a sense of home.”

Sembene McFarland, “Black/African-American”
sembenemcfarland
“A lot of people just look and see skin color. Your skin is White, therefore you’re White. Or are you? One girl said to me, ‘I’ve been wanting to ask you this question but I didn’t feel comfortable asking you because I thought that you might be offended, but are you Black or are you White?’ And I told her, ‘Well, I’m always Black.'”

Deborah Thomas, “Mixed/Jamerican”
deborahthomas
“Though in certain contexts, people will see me as White, I’ve never tried to pass. I don’t know why one would. I mean, obviously sociologically I know why one would, but it’s just never been an option to me.”

Nuala Cabral, “Black/Mixed/Cape Verdean”
blay
“I may identify as a Biracial person — I’m Black and White — but if people see me as a Black woman, that’s how I’m treated. So I identify as a Black woman because I move through the world as a Black woman.”

Kaneesha Parsard, “Black/Multiracial”
kaneeshaparsard
“I tend to believe that being Black — like choosing to identify as Multiracial — is not about phenotype as much as it’s about feelings of belonging and identification. I’m Black because I feel the memory of the Middle Passage and slavery most strongly. I’m Black because when I look in the mirror I see my mother, her mother, and my aunts.”

Sean Gethers, “Black/African-American”
seangethers
“A lot of Caucasians think I’m White because they’ve never run into somebody that has albinism … At the same time, I don’t feel like I’m passing. I can’t hide being Black. My nose, my eyes, my lips, my cheekbones. Come on, ain’t no white part of me except my skin. You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

Destiny Birdsong, “African-American/Black”
destinybirdsong
“I’ve always had a fear of being mistaken for White because you have to deal with people’s ignorance … It’s a way that someone can use language to really erase who you are and your own past.”

Angelina Griggs, “Colored”
griggs
“My father’s father was White, and his mother was dark … My father never laid on us about no ‘yella’ or no light skin or no White or no passing or none of it. He told us we were Negroes. He would tell us about how the White people took advantage of his mother and how we needed to respect her.”

Brett Russell, “Yu’i Korsou (a child of Curaçao)” Photographed by Richard Terborg
brettrussell
“At one point it seemed like every day, a couple of times a day, someone would ask me, ‘Where are you from?’ And when I would tell them, they’d say something like, ‘You’re from Curaçao? How can that be?’ or ‘You ain’t Black.'”

Sosena Solomon, “Ethiopian”
sosenasolomon
“When you say ‘Black’ in Ethiopia it just means ‘dark,’ it doesn’t say anything about your identity. It’s just a color. Just a description. But growing up here, I’ve learned how Black really is an identity.”

James Scott, “Appalachian African-American”
jamesscott
“Somebody might look at me and question my Blackness or feel like I don’t have the right to speak for African Americans because I don’t look Black. They might even assume that I don’t experience racism because of how I look.”

Johanne Stewart, “African-American”
joannestewart
“Vitiligo is not something that changes you as a person. I may not be the color I used to be, but I am the same person. I don’t try to pass myself off as somebody that I’m not. I’m still who I’ve always been — a strong Black woman who is very proud to be a part of a race of people that have endured a lot.”

Koko Zauditu-Selass, “African”
kokozaudituselassie
“‘You keep saying ‘African.’ Don’t you mean ‘African Americans’? I had to come up with a general definition: When I say ‘African people,’ I mean all people who have their heritage primarily situated in West Africa. And that’s including the Diaspora.”

Kristina Robinson, “Black from Louisiana”
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“Most people would call that Creole, but I identify as a Black person first.”

Biany Pérez, “Afro-Dominican”
bianyperez
“Most times when people ask me, ‘What are you?’ I say I’m Black. Although I do identify as Afro-Latina, I’m very careful about saying it because I want you to understand that I’m Black first. Yes, I’m Latina, but I know that my lived experience is not as a Latina. I’m treated as a Black American first. I’m Black first, and it is because of my experience.”

See more photos from (1)ne Drop at PolicyMic.

After Family Loses Their Home In Fire, Strangers Come Together To Help
On Jan. 29, Vaughan Luton, Lori Rippy and their four children lost their house to a fire in Aliquippa, Pa., KDKA2 reported.

The family was left with no home, no insurance and no belongings.

“We’re homeless,” Luton told KDKA2. “All we have is each other, so just continue to be strong and believe God will provide for us.”

After hearing the tragic news on the radio, a stranger named George Milligan offered the couple a home that he owns, TimesOnline.com reported.

“It was very uplifting,” Lori told Yahoo of Milligan’s decision. “One of the most wonderful things someone has done. He was definitely a godsend at a time in need, it was a dark hour for us and he came shining through with a house.”

While that house gets fixed up for the family’s arrival — some plumbing work needs to be done — another property owner has offered them a temporary apartment in the meantime, KDKA2 reported.

The family’s daughter-in-law and her friends have also organized a fundraiser to help pay for food, clothing, furniture and appliances, Yahoo reported. To date, they’ve raised more than $8,600.

Inspired to help Luton and Rippy? Visit this site for more details.

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